Saying no can be hard. Like really hard. And how do we do it in a way that's kind without hurting feelings? Saying no can bring on feelings of anxiety and stress if it's not something that comes natural to us. As tough as it might be to get comfortable with saying no it is SO important for our well being. Think of all the things, as women especially, that we say yes to. Eventually, it adds up and starts taking away from things that are important to us. The more we say yes to the stuff that doesn't serve us, the more we say no to ourselves, our families and our overall wellness.
I've been there. A lot. I use to be the person that said yes to everything. Overwhelm and stress were a common part of my life. What truly made me shift my thinking was finding a big enough 'why'. I became a mama, and that changed everything. As difficult as it was, I knew I didn't (and my family didn't) deserve to live life burnt out and just getting by. You don't deserve that either.
Having the ability to say no is powerful. It allows you to set healthy boundaries and allows others the opportunity to do the same.
The truth of it is, time is something we wont ever get back. We can jam pack our days and our lives to the brim because we feel like we have to and that's the normal thing to do, but is that really living? I love the quote "Don't confuse a busy life for a full life". So. Much. Truth. When we continuously fill our life with saying yes to "stuff" we put off living in the moment, being present and living with intention.
If saying no is hard for you, don't worry, I've been there. Today i'm sharing with you things that I've personally done to make saying "no" a heck of a lot easier.
1. Understand your values. This is something that one day will be it's very own blog post because it's so powerful. When we get clear on what our values are and begin to make decisions aligned with them the rest falls into place. Choosing our priorities becomes a simple decision. Saying no becomes easier.
2. Give yourself some time. The most powerful realization I had was when I learned I had a choice and I didn't need to answer right away. If you're not sure or you need a second to think it through, let it be known. Repeat after me "let me think about it and i'll get back to you".
3. You don't need to explain yourself. Give yourself permission to say no without an explanation. Keep it simple.
4. Prioritize. Life is going to happen and it's up to us to make sure we are living it how we want to. When asked to commit to something new take a moment to check in and see if it's something that you want in your life. If no, practice #1, 2 and 3 :)
How are you when it comes to saying No?
Keep up the work friend,
Hanna Kuyper is a wife, a mom and a lover of all things outdoors. She has owned a women only wellness studio, sat on the board of a non profit dedicated to eating disorder and body image awareness and has volunteered as a mentor for girls in school. Hanna has a Masters Degree in Counseling Psychology with an emphasis in eating disorders and body image. She is a currently a virtual body image and recovery coach at The Eating Disorder Center.